How To Create an Inclusive Wedding or Event

It’s been a rough start to the year, yet again.

And I’ve been a little absent because I’ve been sick.

Sick physically, as I caught one of the terrible, lingering colds going around during the holidays.

But also sick emotionally.

Suffice to say it’s been a lot.  

And what do I say when the world is on fire?

Pardon my French, but who the fu@k cares about weddings and events when people are losing their lives? When they’re afraid, sad, worried, distraught, helpless, hopeless. 

I don’t know if it’s the world we live in, the constant media barrage, or the fact that I’m older and see things differently.

But it feels like the world is constantly on fire. 

And it’s hard to make sense of any of it or what you can do.

There is trauma, heartbreak, and violence everywhere.

Is it too much to ask to just be kind to your fellow stranger? 

It doesn’t matter where they come from, what they believe in, what they do, who they love, what they call themselves, or who their ancestors were. 

They’re a person. 

And ALL people matter.

Sure, someone different than us can make us feel uncomfortable. But that doesn’t make them any less human.  

Shouldn’t everyone be treated equally? Don’t we all want to be treated equally? 

I mean, let’s be honest, we’re all kinda weird and different.

I don’t want to be treated differently because I love Christmas music, or because I don’t eat beef anymore, or because I think most social media is terrible.

So it got me thinking, what would happen if we were just more inclusive?

What if we didn’t think only about the masses, but the few? 

If we didn’t just think about the people who are like us, but those who are different from us?

Because I am all about bringing people together. 

ALL people.

It’s what I do. 

And why I do what I do.  

Events for me are not about the pretty. Sure, pretty is pretty. And pretty is fun.

But that’s not what really matters.

What matters is the human connection, the moments, the experience, the feeling, the meaning, the memories, the lasting impact.

So, how can we bring people together and make everyone feel comfortable and accepted?

How can we create more inclusive weddings and events?

Flipping the Script to Create A More Inclusive Wedding or Event

One of the challenges of planning a wedding or event is making sure everyone is taken care of while also not having to customize everything. 

Because the reality is that you can’t cater everything to everyone’s specific wants and preferences (unless it’s a small event and/or you have a ton of money).  

But you can provide options that reflect what’s important to your guests.

While most people cater to the majority, accommodating as needed for the few, what happens if we flip the script? 

What if we crafted a wedding or event based on the few instead?

What would that look like? 

How would that feel?

Inclusivity shouldn’t just be about accepting others, but making any minority feel like the majority. 

Everyone should feel safe, comfortable, respected, valued, and supported.

EVERYONE.

And you can do that!

Creating an inclusive wedding or event is actually easier than you think.

It just requires you to reframe how you look at your guests and approach your planning from a different perspective.

But your guests are worth it.

So, let’s talk through some examples because I think that will be the easiest way to explain.

And food and beverage is a great place to start because it’s very relatable.

So, let’s say you have a handful of guests who don’t drink alcohol or are sober (which is common and growing)

Instead of just having soda at the bar, craft a whole bunch of yummy non-alcoholic drinks to choose from, and then make boozy versions for guests who do want alcohol. 

In other words, start with the non-alcoholic options and make that prominent.

It gives encouragement and excitement to those who don’t drink a lot, or maybe don’t feel like drinking, or are the designated drivers.

And it makes it more fun for everyone!

Now let’s say you have a bunch of guests who are vegetarian or vegan (which is also very common and growing).

Instead of offering a lame veggie pasta option, make the entire meal vegetarian. It can be hearty, filling and delicious. And you can have meat add-ons for those who need them.

Everyone gets the same meal and can have the same experience. And bonus, it’s also more cost-effective and more sustainable!

In both of these examples, it’s a more inclusive wedding or event because everyone can have the main option.

Everyone is treated the same! No one is excluded. 

To me, that is true inclusivity.

Let’s do a few other examples of what an inclusive wedding or event can look like to help round out the picture.

So, let’s say you have some older guests, guests who are neurodivergent, or just don’t enjoy dancing (you’re bound to have at least some of these).

Instead of having the blaring reception dance floor be the end all be all, create a chill lounge space for people to hang out, with a silent disco on the other side of the room.

It allows for conversation and for people to continue to hang out while also having dancing as an option.

Or let’s say you have guests who are elderly, unstable on their feet, injured or have a hard time on uneven surfaces.

Instead of letting everyone fend for themselves, provide ushers and escorts and even golf carts to get people where they need to go.

It will make it easier and create a nice high-touch experience for all your guests.

The last example is for my destination weddings and events.

If you want all your guests to happily attend, instead of choosing the far flung location at the expensive resort, consider a location with lower travel costs (or subsidize some of it).

Because unless all your guests have unlimited time and money, where you have your wedding can make it easy or hard on them. And it will affect how excited they are to attend.

There is a cost to being a wedding guest and you likely will have guests with a range of time and money.

Planning for those who have more constraints is not only considerate, but makes it easier, less stressful and happier for everyone.

Creating an inclusive wedding or event means thinking about the few, not just the many.

While these are just some examples, there are all kinds of ways to flip the script and create a more inclusive wedding or event.

But you see how, when you plan for the few, it doesn’t lessen or take away from your celebration.

And it doesn’t lessen or take away from your other guests.

It makes everyone’s experience not only the same, but in many cases even better.

And it’s important to know that reframing doesn’t just fall on couples or hosts.

If you are a catering or bartending company, a venue, a DJ, or any vendor, really, having these options would make you stand out from the crowd.

Making your offerings more inclusive will speak to a couple, a company, an organization, or any host who cares about their guests and wants to make them feel comfortable.

And who doesn’t want that?

It’s one of the first and most important things I hear from all my clients.

Because you care about your guests and you want them to have a good time.

And that means thinking about them and what would make for an exceptional experience.

I know that this is a different way to go about planning and designing your event, but it’s worth thinking about!

And yes, your wedding or event is but a small piece of what’s happening in the world.

But if you can put your guests at ease and make everyone feel cared for and a part of the group, that’s something that could make a big impact.

It can change the entire experience for someone.

And not just an individual, but also potentially the group as a whole.

That’s meaningful! And so important.

Give it a try and if you need some help, please reach out.