Face Your Wedding Fears and Vanquish Your Wedding Demons

The fall season is synonymous with colorful leaves, crisp air, apples, sweaters, Gilmore Girls, pumpkins and of course Halloween.

While everyone feels differently, I personally love this time of year.

But with the shift in season, there can also be a shift in mood.

While summer is happy and warm, as the days get shorter and the nights get darker, there can be a feeling of dread that creeps in.

For some, that dread is about the upcoming holidays and all the craziness or sadness that comes with it.

For others, it’s about the end of the year nearing and all that is yet to be done.

And if you’re planning a wedding, it can be both and more!

Because let’s face it, weddings are a source of stress, anxiety and worry.

It’s sad, but true.

Because it’s one day that you can’t repeat.

And you’re putting a lot of time and money into it.

So, you want to get it right.

You want it to be the best day ever.

And that pressure, both self-inflicted and put on us by family, friends, consumption culture, celebrities/influencers and the media, is a heavy weight.

Which results in that stress, worry, anxiety and fear.

So, let’s exercise those demons!

Today we’re going to shine some light on the things that haunt you.

Because like in all horror films, the monsters, ghosts and demons are a lot less scary when you’re not hiding in the dark.

Because what we don’t want is for you to have constant wedding nightmares (yes that’s a thing) or fears that haunt you for the next 3, 6, 9, 12 months.

That is no fun!

No one wants to live in a horror movie.

So, we’re bringing your fears into the light because by doing so, you can face it and address it.

That could mean creating a plan for it, so you don’t have to worry. Or it could just mean sharing it out loud so it can stop haunting you.

5 Questions to Bring Your Wedding Fears Into the Light

So, first, grab a pen and paper or your partner (or both!), sit down and ask yourselves these questions.

And while you can take some time to think, don’t think too hard. Give the answers that immediately come to your mind.

And be honest!

Even if you feel like it’s silly.

This is the point!

We want to get those wedding demons lurking in the shadows out into the light, so we can vanquish them.

Question #1: What’s your biggest wedding fear?

Yup, we’re starting off with a bang!

So, just do it. Name it.

Does it have to do with vendors? A white dress getting ruined? Parental drama? A difficult wedding party member? Terrible photos? Bad weather? Regrets? Money?

Question #2: What makes you feel anxious about the wedding and/or the planning?

What makes you nervous or feel panicked?

The budget? The little time you have left? All the things you don’t know? What you’re seeing online? What your friends weddings were like? Pressure from loved ones or the media? All the decisions you have to make? All the waste?

Question #3: What worries you about the wedding?

What makes you furrow your brow, wring your hands and naw at your lip? 

Whether your grandparents or parents will be able to make the wedding? That all your guests from various backgrounds won’t feel included and comfortable? That your venue has a catastrophe and you have to change locations or dates?

Question #4: What do you have nightmares about?

This could be literal nightmares or the things that keep you up at night. The things that nag at you. 

Your sibling/best friend/parent steals your thunder? You forget your vows? Having to change everything at the last minute? Your clothes don’t fit? Making the wrong decisions?

Question #5: What really scares you?

While this isn’t far from your biggest fear, I do think it’s a little different.

A fear tends to be something specific that you’re afraid of. 

For example, you might be afraid that your grandmother won’t make it to the wedding or that you’ll be sad because you’re missing someone special.

What scares you can be bigger, sometimes more general things. 

For example, you might be scared everything goes wrong or that you’ll have to manage everything and everyone and not be able to enjoy yourself.

How to Vanquish Your Wedding Demons

Now that you’ve shined a light on your demons, you need to talk about it because that’s how you’ll really vanquish them.

If you’ve been doing this with your partner, hopefully you’re already talking about each question and each of your answers.

But if you’ve only written it down to yourself, it’s time to talk about it with your partner.

Share your fears so that they’re aware, but also so you can figure out what can be done about it.

Once again, that might not be anything you actually do.

It might just be about sharing it with someone so that they are aware and can support you.

But in some cases, there might be something you can do about it!

That might be getting some help or making accommodations, changing plans, tweaking the schedule, adding a vendor or moment or something else entirely.

Either way, talking about it will help you face your demons.

And from there it’s a lot easier to figure out what comes next.

And no matter what that is, you’ll be on your way to vanquishing them (if you haven’t already)!

Fear, anxiety, worry, and the subsequent stress are sadly all a part of wedding planning.

But they don’t have to be!

You can get rid of the monsters under your bed, banish the ghosts that haunt you and vanquish your demons.

Now, could one or two of those monsters, ghosts or demons come back again?

Possibly.

But now that you’ve had some practice, it won’t be so hard to face them and do what you need to do.

Just make sure to get some support from your partner! And maybe also from a family member, friend and/or a therapist.

Like in those horror films, you’re a lot better off when you’re with someone.

You don’t have to face it alone, so don’t!

And the support of a wedding planner can also help you, so please get in touch! I will happily be your demon slayer.