Wedding Vendors Are People Too!

Well…what a month. It’s been a rough month to say the least.

With some fantastic highs, but some really difficult moments too.

A true roller coaster of sorts.

It definitely wasn’t all bad. But as we all know, the bad can really linger.

I’m not going to go into details, but I mention this because what’s going on in my life, affects my life.

My whole life, including my work.

Just like how it must be for you as well.

But of course, I’m a professional. So, what’s happening in my life is not something my clients usually know about or are aware of.

Because it’s not about me, it’s about them.

But I’m human just like everyone else.

And well… sometimes life just gets rocky.

Couple walking on a lava rock beach at their destination wedding on the Big Island
(Photo credit: Emily Piraino Photography)

Now I’m not sharing this because some incident happened (my clients are great!).

I’m sharing because couples many times get so wrapped up in their wedding and everything being about them and their wedding, that they forget that we are all human.

And yes, that includes their wedding vendors.

Because if we’re being honest, wedding vendors can get treated like servants. People who are supposed to be at a couple’s beck and call.

So when someone doesn’t respond quickly enough or makes a human mistake, angry emails, calls and texts can ensue.

Now of course there are bad wedding vendors and those are a different story. And we’ve talked about the importance of hiring a professional wedding vendor.

But even professional wedding vendors are people too.

They are people with lives and potentially really difficult things going on that you have no idea about.

And if you knew what was going on, you’d have sympathy or empathy and be less quick to get angry.

So, what I’m really saying here is… remember that your wedding vendors are people too!

And before you get angry or send that mean text, go through these steps first.

Because treating them like a fellow human being and the way you would want to be treated, is what they deserve.

And this really applies to both wedding vendors who you’re in the initial process of talking with to someone you’ve already hired.

3 Steps To Resolving A Problem With a Wedding Vendor the Human Way

Couple walking down stairs at their Muir woods intimate wedding
(Photo credit: Vivian Chen)

Step 1 – Don’t assume you know what’s going on

If something happens with a wedding vendor, whether that’s a lack of response, a mistake on a proposal, or forgetting a detail, don’t jump to the conclusion that they’re a bad vendor, they don’t care or are stupid.

Everyone has things going on in their lives.

Everyone has bad days.

And everyone makes mistakes.

So, before you react harshly, give them the benefit of the doubt.

And treat them like a fellow human.

Take a breath and then respond with the assumption that something might be going on.

You’ll get in a more understanding state of mind. And you’ll immediately adopt a kinder tone and not jump all over them.

Because you really just never know. And giving them the benefit of the doubt will also result in a better response (they’ll be less defensive).

Step 2 – Explain what you need

Being bummed about something is totally ok, so in your response you should share your feelings. That could be disappointment or frustration or concern over the situation.

Whatever you’re feeling, share that and why.

This gives them context and an understanding of where you’re coming from.

And then, here’s the other important part… explain what you need.

What are you looking for from them?

Is it a correct proposal?

Is it a response to a question so you can make a decision?

Or maybe it’s just confirmation of something to put your mind at ease.

Whatever you need, sharing that will allow your vendor to respond appropriately.

And then you can really have a dialog that can clear up any miscommunication, get everyone on the same page and talk about next steps.

Step 3 – Give them the opportunity to fix it

As I said before, everyone makes mistakes. But professional vendors will always do what they can to fix it.

So, give them that opportunity.

If they are at fault, let them make it right.

They want to, trust me.

I’ve made mistakes myself and you want nothing more than to rectify it.

You want to make things better.

Interestingly, what I’ve found is that it’s almost more telling how a wedding vendor handles a mistake than when they do everything perfectly.

You can trust me on this too.

Because I’ve encountered quite a few mistakes from my fellow wedding vendors in my 14 years.

And how someone handles a mistake or a problem says a lot about them.

So, let them make it right before you go off on them or leave a bad review or bash them on social media.

Outdoor tent being set up by wedding vendors for a private estate wedding at Loulu Palm in Hawaii by destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events
(Photo credit: Christie Pham Photography)

Just remember that your wedding vendors are humans too with stuff going on in their lives.

If you encounter a problem, instead of going with your immediate reaction, treat them how you would want to be treated.

If you respond with that in mind, you’ll have a much more productive conversation.

And are much more likely to get what you need! Which in the end, will not only resolve the situation but make you much happier.

And don’t forget that your wedding planner can help you with this too!

They’ll actually be your buffer and advocate, which means you won’t have to deal with these kinds of issues directly.

Which certainly can save your sanity! Not to mention that they’ll work to find you the best wedding vendors which will keep any issues to a minimum.

Contact us today if you’d like to learn more about how we will be your best wedding advocate.

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