What To Do When You Can’t Find the Perfect Venue (or Vendor or Item)

After 13+ years of planning weddings, I’ve come to realize that every couple has one thing.

One thing about their wedding that they obsess over. One thing that they have to find the right one of. 

Many hours are spent thinking about it, searching for it and worrying about it. 

It could be the venue, a vendor, the wedding dress or a special detail. 

And for whatever reason, it’s something you can’t seem to make a decision on.

That could be because you can’t find the perfect thing. Or because you can’t make a decision based on the options. Or both!

Coffee or tea wedding favor display for a chateau wedding in France by destination wedding planner, Mango Muse Events
(Photo credit: Julia Winkler Photography)

This happens to every couple.

It certainly happened to me!

When I got married, the one thing that we struggled with was photography. We had someone in mind, but they were booked.

And then finding someone else that checked all the right boxes proved challenging.

It was a real struggle.

We eventually figured it out, but when we were in it, there was definitely a lot of stress, anxiety and frustration.

It’s a situation that sucks a lot of time and energy from you. It’s really no fun.

So, what if you can’t find the perfect venue or vendor or wedding item? What do you do when you’re faced with your one thing?

3 Steps to take when you’re faced with your one thing (and can’t find the perfect venue or vendor)

Bride and groom walking at their resort in St. Croix a destination wedding in the Caribbean by Destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events
(Photo credit: McAllister Photography)

Step #1 – Stop going for perfection

You want your wedding to be perfect. And I get that.

It’s a special day that you only plan on doing once. It’s also a sizable investment, so you want to be spending your money well.

But the reality is that not everything will be perfect. Not everything will go exactly as planned.

Part of what makes that one thing so difficult is that you’re focusing on perfect.

You want the perfect venue. Or the perfect photographer. Or the perfect dress.

But unless you have unlimited funds (and sometimes even if you do have unlimited funds), there are concessions and compromises you’ll need to make.

Perfection isn’t always achievable or even possible.

Intimate forest wedding ceremony with benches and wildflowers at an Autocamp Yosemite mountain wedding by destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events
(Photo credit: Mary Meck Weddings)

So, you have to first step away from perfection.

Go ahead, take a step back…

And then take a moment to realize that just because something isn’t perfect, doesn’t mean it can’t be great. 

Because it can be! And great is great!

You can find great and be really happy with great.

Once you realize that, perfection is much easier to let go of.

And once you let go of perfection, your options look a lot better.

Step #2 – Rank it

The reason you’re obsessing over your one thing is because you haven’t yet found the perfect thing. If you had, you’d have pulled the trigger already.

Which means you haven’t found the place, person, or thing that checks all the boxes.

So, it’s time to rank your list of criteria.

Think about all the things you’re looking for in your perfect venue, vendor or item.

For example, if it’s a venue, some items on your list could be an indoor and outdoor space, whether you can bring in your own caterer, the style of the place, distance from the airport, how late you can party till, etc… 

Take that list of criteria and rank each item you are looking for.

While of course you want everything, this helps to you think through what’s most important to you.

And by framing the criteria in terms of importance, you’ll be better able to assess your options.

You can see which options fit either most of your criteria or at the least meet the most important ones.

This allows you to eliminate options and move forward with the best one.

Step #3 – Put a little more money into it

In many cases, step #1 and #2 will solve your problem. But, if you still can’t find great, then it’s time to consider adjusting your budget.

Adding even just a little more to this one line item can most times solve your issue.

Because it opens you up to additional options and possibilities.

Elegant chandeliers and string lights as wedding lighting for a Calistoga Ranch wedding by Destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events
(Photo credit: Kate Webber)

Now of course you shouldn’t do this unless you’re financially able to. But if you created a wedding budget range, this is a good time to utilize it.

And it’s important to note that you should only really consider it if this is an area you care a lot about.

If you can’t find the right favor, but you don’t care about favors, then it’s not worth throwing more money at it or stressing over it.

But if you’re able and this is an important item to you, then expanding your budget will give you more options.

That could mean being able to bring someone in from another location. It could mean being able to go with the more experienced person. Or it could mean being able to look at a whole new set of options.

Whatever the case, finding great will be much more achieveable.

Because every couple inevitably ends up faced with one thing that they struggle with when planning their wedding. When that happens use these steps and you’ll find a solution.

And you’ll find a solution faster! Which means less time stressing and worrying.

And if for some reason you take these steps and you still can’t make a decision, then go with your gut. 

I think almost 100% of the time when making a decision (particularly when it comes to your wedding) you should follow your heart.

Go with what feels right over what seems right.

Your gut is usually not wrong.

And of course we can help with this whole process as well! Finding the best options for you and helping you navigate those decisions is one of the things we do best.

If you want to streamline the process and reduce your stress, contact us today.

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