Are You Planning Your Wedding Too Fast?

Did you know that there are two kinds of couples that emerge when planning a wedding?

There are the ones who procrastinate and the ones who rush to check off all the boxes.

Or in other words, the ones who plan slow and the ones who plan fast.

While there are the rare few who pace themselves and strategically take it step by step, most couples will fall into one of these two types.

Now I’ll say that most of the couples I work with tend to fall into the first type, the procrastinators.

Many times you’re just too busy with work or other responsibilities to focus on planning. Or you’ve just been putting off wedding planning because you don’t want to do it. Or you run into a roadblock, get stuck and then just stop planning.

And that’s perfectly normal.

The second group tend to be the DIYers. Or the ones that start off being DIY and then quickly realize (or sometimes slowly realize) that you’re in over your head. The type A people who want to get things done now, but get overwhelmed once they’re in it.

And this is also perfectly normal.

There is nothing wrong with whatever category you fall into.

But, the unfortunate part is that there are dangers that come with both types of planning.

However today, I want to focus on the couples that plan fast because recently I’ve been seeing more and more couples fall into this category.

Why planning your wedding too fast is dangerous

Bride and groom share a romantic kiss at night with string lights overhead at a Sonoma wine country wedding by destination wedding planner, Mango Muse Events
(Photo credit: Chrisman Studios)

You wouldn’t think it, but between the two types of planning, planning fast is the more dangerous of the two.

You’re probably a bit surprised. But, it’s true!

Because planning fast is usually planning TOO fast.

And you can dig yourself a much bigger hole by planning too fast, then by planning too slow.

People don’t really talk about planning your wedding too fast. You always hear wedding tips about how to get things done faster or how to move forward when you’re busy.

But, you never hear about the dangers of planning fast.

Because, what’s wrong with planning fast?

Doesn’t that just mean you’re getting things done? And isn’t that a good thing?

Yes, it is a good thing! It’s a good thing to complete wedding planning tasks. To check things off your list.

But, it’s not a good thing when you’re rushing.

It’s not a good thing when the goal is JUST to check things off your list.

That results in both mistakes and regrets.

Bride and groom making funny faces at their Hawaii destination wedding by Destination wedding planner, Mango Muse Events
(Photo credit: Christie Pham Photography)

Let me tell you a story to help explain…

Jen was one of the last single people in her friend group. So, when she finally got engaged, she was very excited to be joining the married club. And because she had so many married friends (and siblings), she had lots of people to go to ask questions about wedding planning.

Jen was also very efficient and organized. So, once she procured her friends’ budget and vendor list, she immediately started planning.

Within weeks of getting engaged, she booked her venue and all her vendors. She picked her dress, favors, menu and almost all the details within a couple months.

At about 8 months out from her wedding, she was basically done with planning.

So, she eased off the gas pedal and took a little break from planning.

And during that break, a whole bunch of things came up:

– She discovered a photographer she liked way better than the one she had booked.

– Her florist stopped answering her emails and wouldn’t get back to her.

– She started fighting with her partner over some decisions she had already made.

– Her parents started making suggestions and demands.

– And she found out that her venue didn’t have the power needed to support what she had planned, which meant changing the plan or adding costs.

And so of course, Jen became very stressed.

Bride getting ready at her Mauna Kea resort wedding on the big island in Hawaii by destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events
(Photo credit: Emily Piraino Photography)

Because what happens when you plan too fast is you don’t allow yourself enough time to stop and think.

You’re so eager to get things done, you’re not vetting your vendors properly. Or you’re so nervous about the wedding boom that you book the same vendors as someone you know because they liked them.

You jump ahead and make a decision before you’re ready to make that decision just to check things off a list.

Without time to think and really assess, to discuss and think about your partner, parents and guests, you end up making decisions that aren’t right for you.

You might choose something you don’t actually want or doesn’t reflect who the two of you are. You might forget about something crucial. Or you just may not fully think it through.

And one of the worst things about all of this is that once you make a decision and put down a deposit, you’re committed.

While you can get out of a contract, you’ll be losing money.

And no one wants to lose money!

As I mentioned before, you can dig yourself a much bigger hole when you plan too fast.

Because you’re rushing through decisions and in turn, spending money.

And trying to fix those mistakes or regrets can cost you.

And while the money side sucks, I’m not just talking money.

It can put a strain on your relationships too.

Because you’re blowing through all the intersections just to get to the end. And by doing so, missing so much.

Not to mention all the time and effort you’ve already put into your planning. Do you really want to do it again?

2 ways to make sure you don’t plan too fast

Bride and groom sharing a special moment during their first dance at their wedding in Monte Rio by destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events
(Photo credit: Bustle and Twine)

So, I’m obviously a type A kind of person. I’m organized and I like to get things done.

So, I totally understand that feeling.

The urge to check things off a list especially when you’re attacking something as big and overwhelming as wedding.

And particularly with the added pressure of this wedding boom, that urge is even greater. The unfortunate need to make fast decisions so you don’t end up screwed, makes you move fast.

So, it’s hard not to end up planning too fast right now.

But while you still need to move forward, you also need to make sure you’re planning the wedding you actually want.

And spending your money wisely.

As everything costs more now, it’s even more important that you’re paying attention to your budget.

So, here’s how you can combat planning too fast and essentially slow yourself down.

#1 – Stop and assess

Before you make any decision, make sure you stop for a moment. That moment could be just a few minutes or a few hours or a day or a week. But, stop and take a moment to assess your decision.

Stop and ask yourself the following questions:

– Why are you choosing this? Is it because someone recommended it or told you to choose it? Or did you come to our own conclusion about it?

– Would you be picking this if you weren’t in a time crunch or had a deadline?

– Is this what you actually want?

– Are you both happy with this decision?

– Does this make sense for your wedding?

– Is this decision going to have a negative impact on any VIPs?

– Is this how you want to spend your money?

Based on your answers, you may need to change course or do some more work before you make a decision.

Or maybe the decision is the right one and you’re all good!

Either way, you’ll know which way to go by just stopping and assessing.

#2 – Hire a planner

Bride and groom walking hand in hand at their Sonoma wedding by Destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events
(Photo credit: Chrisman Studios)

Part of the problem with planning too fast is knowing what the right thing is for you. Having a planner will streamline that process.

They’ll help curate and narrow the choices for you.

So you’ll know that when you make a decision, you’re looking at the best options for you.

Your planner will also pace your planning. So they’ll prevent you from going out and rushing through everything.

They’ll push you if needed. But otherwise, you don’t have to worry because they’ll be making sure you’re getting done, what you need to get done, when you need to get it done.

All of this to say… having a planner will remove a lot of the issues for you when you’re planning too fast.

Because planning your wedding too fast is a real thing! Especially now.

Don’t end up in hole just because you never realized you were creating one.

Slow down, stop and assess or hire a wedding planner. Or do both!

But don’t get caught planning too fast and hurting yourself in the end.

And of course if you need a destination wedding planner, we are an email (or phone call) away.

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