How to Deal with Opinionated Family and Friends and Your Wedding

So, you’re engaged and planning your wedding. And you’ve got this opinionated mother/sibling/friend/groomsmen. Or perhaps lots of opinionated family and friends.

And you love them…

But, they’re driving you nuts!

You feel like you’re getting pulled in all directions.

And come on, you’re not Gumby (yes, I just dated myself there).

Not only is it not fun to be hearing what you should be doing or shouldn’t be doing ALL the time…

But, it makes planning your wedding twenty times harder.

Because it makes you second guess yourself. All these thoughts and opinions find their way into your brain.

And it muddies what you should be focusing on, what YOU want.

So, what do you do about opinionated people and your wedding? Because let’s face it, you can’t go on like this for 6 more months, 9 more months, 12 more months…

4 Steps to Dealing With Opinionated Family and Friends
(and still keep your relationship)

Wedding party in a group hug at a Calistoga Ranch destination wedding by Destination wedding planner, Mango Muse Events
(Photo credit: Kate Webber)

Step 1: Shut it down

Make your email, your phone, even your conversations no longer a place to discuss your wedding.

If it’s one person tell them. If it’s your whole family, tell them all. Or if it’s everyone, tell everyone.

Tell them you don’t want to talk about the wedding.

To avoid any awkwardness, just say you don’t want the wedding to consume your life. So, you’re keeping it separate. And you want to just have a regular conversation with them.

How can they argue that? They can’t.

And when you don’t talk about the wedding, they can’t offer opinions.

Step 2: Change the subject

Now despite step 1, there will still be those opinionated people who will want to talk about the wedding. Your mom for instance. Or those in your wedding party.

They’ll bring it up or ask you a question.

Unless what they’re asking is something that directly affects them, politely change the subject.

Go back to step 1 and say you don’t want to talk about the wedding and discuss something else instead.

Here’s a helpful tip – Ask them about something going on in their life.

Everyone likes talking about themselves. When you switch the subject to them, they’ll take that ball and run with it, leaving your wedding alone.

Step 3: Ignore it

Even with step 1 and step 2, you’re still going to get some unsolicited opinions.

Unless the opinions help you and the wedding you want to create, ignore them.

Just ignore them.

It might be hard especially if they’re very loud opinions. But, ignoring them means you can focus on what you’re doing and what you want. And not get confused or muddled.

Let them say what they’re dying to share and then move on.

Step 4: Get a wedding planner

To help with all 3 steps and take it even further, hire a wedding planner.

Because nothing shuts down opinions like a neutral 3rd party who is also a professional.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve played this role for couples. The magic words are, my wedding planner told me so.

And the conversation ends.

When your trusted advisor is saying something vs. just you, then your parents, your friends, your coworkers, everyone will stop talking. Even if they think it’s the wrong idea.

They can’t say anything else. Because the advice is coming from a professional.

We are a great tool to shut down those opinionated people in your life without you losing them and your relationships.

If you’re suffering under a barrage of opinionated people and you haven’t even done much yet for your wedding (or if you have), contact us today. We can be that invisible barrier to protect your sanity.

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