Wedding Wednesdays Q&A: 3 Steps to Wedding Planning Self Care

Wedding Wednesdays Q&A answered by Destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events

Q: I need some major help because I’ve hit a wall.  I’m just completely and utterly stressed out.  Everything about planning my wedding is stressing me out.  My parents, my wedding party, finding vendors, trying to come up with something cute…  It’s just question after question or decision after decision.  I feel like I’m spending every waking moment working on my wedding and yet nothing seems to be getting done. And with all I have to do at work, it’s like the life is just getting sucked out of me.  And there’s nothing I can do about it because time keeps ticking away.  Help, please!

Thank you for being so honest and please know that you’re not alone.  I’m here to help!  Ok?  So, take a breath and let’s get you some help.

First off, wedding planning stress is a real thing.  It’s not made up, it’s not imaginary.  And it’s not just something only some people experience.

Everyone experiences it. 

And it can be debilitating.  And I’m not just talking about the planning of your wedding, but your life.

When wedding planning stress consumes you, it makes everything else stressful too. Your work, your social life, normal responsibilities and everyday tasks like doing the dishes.

You kind of just want to curl up into a ball and hope it goes away.  

Ring bearer sleeping at a wedding in San Francisco by Destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events

(Photo credit: Jerry Yoon Photographers)

But, of course it doesn’t.  And that ticking clock only adds to the stress.

So, here’s what you need….some serious wedding planning self care.

Normal self care and wellness is always important – getting enough sleep, eating regularly, drinking water, getting some exercise…

But, wedding planning self care is also needed! 

Because you need to take care of yourself when you’re planning your wedding.  No life sucking wanted!

So, here are 3 steps to some much needed wedding planning self care, so you can have a happy engagement.

3 steps to wedding planning self care for a happy engagement

Step #1 – Get me time

Happy bride getting ready at her San Francisco wedding by Destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events

(Photo credit: Jerry Yoon Photographers)

The first step to wedding planning self care is literally just stepping away.  Step away from your wedding.  And don’t think about your wedding all the time.  Don’t let it consume you!

Which means, give yourself some really important me time.

You don’t have to do anything special, just take time for you.  Like how you would normally if planning your wedding didn’t exist.

So, maybe that’s taking a walk.  Or reading a book.  Maybe it’s just taking a nap.  Or having some coffee on the couch and watching Friends.  It almost doesn’t matter what you do.

Just do whatever makes you happy.

Me time can be hard to carve out, but do it.  Whether it’s 10 minutes, an hour, or a whole day.  Make sure you have time for you that has nothing to do with the wedding.

And make it a requirement.  Like how brushing your teeth and drinking water are requirements.  Make me time a requirement during the day and during the week.

Me time creates space between you and the wedding which will destress you. 

Which means when you are planning your wedding, you’ll feel better because you aren’t consumed by it 24/7.  And as an additional benefit, it will also result in better wedding decisions too.

Step #2 – Get us time

Bride and groom newlyweds taking a moment alone at their multi-cultural wedding by Destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events

(Photo credit: Bethany Carlson)

So, you made some space for yourself, but now you need time for you and your fiancé.   The next step is us time.

This is time for you and your partner to be together.  Because taking care of yourself is also about taking care of your relationship.

And I’m going to be honest, this can sometimes be even harder to carve out.  Because everything you do with your partner right now is probably wedding oriented.

You need time to be together that isn’t related to the wedding at all. 

Time where you’re not thinking or talking about the wedding.  Just time together.

So, like me time, go do something together.  And once again it doesn’t have to be something special (but it can be too).

Date nights are great!  But it could also just be taking your dog to the park together.  Maybe you get out of town for the weekend.  Or maybe you work on sanding that bookcase you’ve been creating.  Perhaps it’s cooking a meal together.  Or it’s just enjoying a bottle of wine and talking.

Like me time, it doesn’t really matter what you do.  Just that you do something together, non-wedding related that makes you happy.

This gives you a chance to reconnect amongst all the craziness. 

And spend time as a couple.  Which just strengthens your relationship and love for each other.

And as an additional benefit, it reminds you of the happiness that your wedding is celebrating.  Which means when you’re planning your wedding, it’s a happy thing again.

Step #3 – Hire a planner

Mango Muse Events, destination wedding planner hugging happy bride

(Photo credit: Emily Piraino Photography)

You’ve got me time and us time.  Now the last step, hire a wedding planner.

Because your life is NOT your wedding.  And it shouldn’t be!  There is so much more to who you are and what’s going on then just your wedding.

Couples mistakenly think that since the time is ticking that it’s ok if planning their wedding consumes them because it’s just temporary.  But, this is 6 months, a year, 2 years of your life!

It’s not a week of craziness that you can push through.  It’s a long time. 

And while time goes fast, do you really want to be consumed by planning your wedding for a year of your life?

No you don’t.

Hiring a wedding planner doesn’t mean you don’t have to do anything.  There will always be things you’ll have to work on for your wedding.

But, hiring a wedding planner guarantees you the me time and us time you need.

Because we do all the heavy lifting for you.

Your wedding planner is your advocate, your quarterback, your buffer, your neutral 3rd party, your professional to guide you the entire way.

Which means life sucking wedding planning no longer exists.  No more curling into a ball and wishing it would all just be over.

Because taking care of yourself is also understanding what you need help with and getting that help.

Whether you’re feeling stressed out or like your whole life has become about your wedding or you’re doing ok right now use these 3 steps and get yourself some much needed wedding planning self care.  Because it’s never too early or late to start.

And of course, contact us for step 3.  We’ll lead the way and be your light in the dark.

Bride and groom walking hand in hand at their Sonoma wedding by Destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events

(Photo credit: Chrisman Studios)

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