Regrets are never a fun thing. It’s not a fun feeling to wish you had done something or wish you hadn’t. To look back and just wish it was different.
The regret can color or mar your whole experience. Sometimes it can teach you for the next time, a mistake you’ll never make again. But, sometimes there is no next time.
Weddings are one of those times. Because it’s one day and there are no do overs.
(Photo credit: David Pullum Photography)
Every year there is always some article that talks about the biggest wedding regrets that couples have. And sure, there may be things that people collectively gravitate towards regretting, but I don’t find that super helpful.
Because every couple is different and what you value is different. Thus, your wedding regrets (if you have any) will be different. Just because a bunch of people regret not hiring a videographer, doesn’t mean you should hire one. That doesn’t necessarily help you as you’re planning your wedding.
But here’s what can help. Regardless of the list of the biggest wedding regrets, I find that wedding regrets (no matter what they are) usually fall into one of two categories:
Wishing you had gone with X instead of Y
Wishing you had something that you didn’t
In both of these instances, you’re longing for something you didn’t have, something that was missing. And you start fantasizing about what it could have been like with this missing item. And that can ruin your wedding memories.
We don’t want that. I don’t want that for you.
So, here’s what you need to know about wedding regrets so we can make sure you don’t have any.
They’re all based on decisions.
Think about it. The regret you have is you choosing something or not choosing something. And what you choose affects not only how it turns out, but how you feel.
But, here’s the problem: You have to make a lot of decisions for your wedding.
And the sheer number of decisions you have to make is the reason why these regrets happen. Because bad decisions can result in wedding regrets.
And a big cause of bad decisions are decision fatigue and decision fog, as I like to call it.
With decision fatigue, you’re just tired of making decisions, so you just choose whatever. You just make a decision so you don’t have to think about it. And many times it’s not a good decision.
With decision fog, you don’t always realize at the time you’re making the decision why you’re making that decision. You’re foggy and you think you’re making a decision for the right reasons, but you’re not.
Both decision fatigue and fog are rampant in the wedding planning process for almost every couple. Because it’s such an easy place to fall into. And when you make decisions under these conditions, they rarely turn out well. And many times they are the source for your wedding regrets.
So, how do you make good decisions and combat wedding regrets?
3 simple steps to prevent wedding regrets
(Photo credit: Jerry Yoon Photographers)
Whether it’s decision fatigue or fog, first take a step back. Give yourself a breather. Stop making decisions for a little while and come back to it when you’re refreshed. This will not only give you a break, but some perspective.
Then remember your vision when you’re making these decisions. Think back to the bigger picture and what really matters to you. And make the decision that supports your vision and the wedding experience you want to create.
Lastly, remember yourselves. You know who you are. Remember that and what makes sense for you two. Don’t be swayed by what’s trendy, what you see online or what your mom thinks. Do what feels right for you.
I know there are a lot of variables when it comes to wedding decisions, but if you follow these 3 simple steps, it will make a world of difference. And most importantly help you to make the right decisions for you so you won’t have wedding regrets.
(Photo credit: Rachel Robertson Photography)
Still worried about having wedding regrets? Come and hang out with me live on Facebook on Friday at 6pm PST where I’ll be sharing some personal thoughts and experiences about wedding regrets and the real truth about them.