Q: I’m in the midst of planning our wedding and I know we need to start thinking about our honeymoon soon. So, I decided to put my fiancé in charge of the honeymoon. I thought he’d have fun with that. But, now that he’s been researching it seems his idea of a honeymoon is not the same as mine. He wants to go scuba diving, hiking, mountain biking, etc… My idea of a honeymoon is relaxing on the beach. Who knew planning a honeymoon would be so hard? How do we figure this one out?
Don’t worry! I’m totally going to help you out. I know it can seem like it’s hard to figure out especially because you want him to be happy. But, don’t worry there is a way.
The key here is compromise. You want your fiancé to be happy. But, you want to be happy as well. So, first off, sit down and have a chat with him. Talk to him about why you want what you want. You want him to understand your point of view.
Then, take the time to understand why he wants what he wants. Listen to what he’s saying and try to see his thought process through his eyes.
At this point, one of you may be able to sway the other. You may feel like you’d be onboard for what he has in mind. And he may feel the same. But, at the very least you’ll both better understand the why behind what you’re looking for.
This is important because then you can meld the reasons and make them come together. This is when it’s time to figure out a compromise.
Take your new understanding and bring it all together. Because you want to choose a honeymoon location that appeals to both of you. But, you also want a honeymoon together, where you’re doing things together. So, choose a location that has adventurous activities for him and beach time for you. Pick the location that has the climate and vibe that works with what you both want.
And then plan activities you’re both excited about whether that’s kayaking or napping on the beach. Or doing a private dinner under the stars or checking out the local food spots.
Like your wedding and like a marriage, bring together your separate personalities and loves for your honeymoon. It will ensure that you both are included and make for the best honeymoon ever.
And if all else fails and you can’t pick just one location that fits all your needs, why not do two honeymoons? No one ever complained about going on more vacations. Plan one for right after your wedding and then another a year or 6 months later. You’ll both get what you want and you get to travel to two locations! Now that is a honeymoon.
(Photo credit: Emily Piraino)
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