Wedding Wednesdays Q&A: How to Tell People You Don’t Want Kids at Your Wedding

Wedding Wednesdays Q&A by Jamie Chang Destination Wedding Planner of Mango Muse Events

It’s Wednesday and today’s wedding planning question is about the adult only destination wedding.

Q: We are having a destination wedding in Hawaii and we want it to be an adult only wedding, but some of our family and friends have kids.  We’re a little worried about how to have the wedding we want given that Hawaii is a kid friendly destination.  How do we nicely tell people that we don’t want kids at our wedding?

This is a really good question and one my couples encounter all the time.  Not wanting kids at your wedding is a personal choice and you shouldn’t feel bad for wanting that.  But, since you are having a destination wedding you are right that your guests may end up bringing their kids along to Hawaii for the vacation aspect of it.  But, don’t fret!  Knowing this ahead of time means you can prepare for it.

In order to let people know your wishes, you have to get the word out ahead of time.  One of the best ways to spread the word about your adult only wedding is to tell your immediate family and close friends.  I’m not sure how large your destination wedding is, but by telling your key guests, they’ll spread the word when they talk to people about your wedding.  This way people will hear it by word of mouth and you don’t have to expressly put it in writing and offend anyone.

In addition to letting people know by word of mouth, another way to make sure your guests are aware is to be very clear when you address your save the dates and invites.  Address them specifically to just the adults so that they know who is invited and who is not.  If you want to be super clear, you can also add a section to your RSVP that states _ of 2 will/will not attend, so that they have to write in the number in the blank and it makes it very clear that their kids are not included in that number.

Those are the major ways you can inform your guests nicely about your adult only destination wedding, but you’ll also want to prepare for the possibility that they will bring their kids with them to Hawaii.  I don’t want you to feel pressured into inviting these kids just because your family/friends brought them.  So, to ensure your wedding is kid free, make sure you research some babysitters with the hotel or venue ahead of time.  This way when you are talking to your guests you have the recommendation ready to hand.  You should also include the info on your website and in your welcome bags to help drive home the point.  Then it’s up to your guests to take action, but you’ve done everything you can to let them know that you don’t want kids at your wedding and hopefully you won’t have any little surprises.

No kids on the dance floor at destination wedding in Hawaii by Jamie Chang Destination Wedding Planner

(Photo credit: Christie Pham Photography)

Do you have a wedding planning situation you are struggling with?  Send us your question and we’ll get you an answer.

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