One of the things that couples struggle with the most when it comes to wedding planning is knowing how to create the wedding they really want, one that reflects who they are. When you start planning, you have ideas and you know what is important to you. But, as time goes on wedding planning starts to wear on couples and decisions end up being made based on what is easiest or are influenced by what someone else wants or thinks is best (this usually tends to be mothers). Couples stop making decisions based on what they want and what is important to them and end up just picking something and then they end up with a wedding that isn’t quite what they wanted. This makes me really sad because your wedding should be exactly that, YOUR wedding.
I’m here to tell you that you can have the wedding you want, the key is that you just need to stay true to yourselves. This sounds like a no-brainer, but once you get into the throws of wedding planning, it can easily fall to the wayside in favor of something easier and faster. There are times when you just don’t want to have to think or deal with something (or someone) and it’s just easier to do it a certain way. And while I’m all for making things easier, you also have to make sure that your wedding doesn’t become just something you’re planning. This is a big occasion and you’re spending a ton of time and money on it, you want it to be special and yours.
So, how do you make sure to have the wedding you want? Be your own watchdog and quality control. Constantly ask yourself, is this what I want? Is this me? Is this us? Ask yourself these questions with every decision from large ones like choosing a wedding venue to small ones like wedding favors. Ask yourself and see what your answer is. If the answer is no, you need to go a different route. Don’t worry about what you are supposed to do, but go with what feels like you even if that might be a little strange or different. If you base your decisions around these questions, you’ll be sure to have the wedding you want.
The couples I work with all tend to be pretty non-traditional and this doesn’t mean that they don’t value their family or cultural traditions, but that they care about a variety of things and want to incorporate all those pieces into their wedding. What this means is that many times we end up putting together something that is perhaps considered a little weird or strange at a wedding. I had a couple who weren’t into dancing and most of their friends weren’t either, but they wanted something fun after dinner for their guests to enjoy. After some digging and understanding what they liked and were into, we came up with Rock Band. No, not a rock band, but Rock Band the video game. We turned it from just something you play
I recently worked with a couple who weren’t into dancing and most of their friends weren’t either, but they wanted something fun after dinner for their guests to enjoy. After some digging and understanding what they liked and were into, we came up with Rock Band. No, not a rock band, but Rock Band, the video game. We turned it from just something you play in your living room into a whole set with a stage, lights, TVs, and a lounge area so that some people could play and other people could watch and sing along. Some would think that is strange and it’s definitely not a “normal” thing to have at a wedding, but who cares? It was super fun and both the couple and their guests loved it.
But, this might not have happened if I wasn’t there to help push them along. They might have decided to just do something easy like music and dancing, but I pushed them to think about what they would enjoy and we made it happen. If you don’t have a wedding planner or designer to play this role for you, you have to be your own watchdog and make sure you stick to what you want so you can have the wedding you want. It might not be as easy, but you’ll be so much happier in the end. The people coming to your wedding love you and know you and if you make every decision based on you as a person and as a couple, they will feel that from start to finish. You’ll end up creating not just your unique wedding and the wedding you want, but an experience for everyone to share.
(Photo credit: Jennifer Lamba Photography)
Are you non-traditional and need help creating the wedding you want? We’d love to help you! Check out our new Kickstart and Jumpstart wedding planning sessions. It’s a process I go through with all my couples to create the foundation you need for a wedding you want.