In this week’s Wedding Wednesday Q&A we’re talking about surprises: So, my fiance and I have talked it over and we want to throw a surprise wedding. We don’t want a lot of hype or presents, we just want to get married with the people we love in a fun and spontaneous way. So, this sounds great in our heads, but before I move forward, I think I need a reality check. Do you think this is a bad idea?
I love fun and spontaneous! It keeps you young and really makes life exciting. So, first off, a surprise wedding is not a bad idea at all. It definitely fits your fun and spontaneous goals and I can guarantee that your friends and family will never forget it. However, there are a few factors that you should think through before you take the plunge.
First, the big thing is that you’ll want to make sure that whenever you plan on having this surprise wedding, the people you want at your wedding will actually be there. What I mean is if you have any friends or family who have to fly in or don’t live in the area, that could be a challenge. You’ll have to construct an excuse to get them there (like a birthday party) or you pick a date when you know they will be in town. And just know that there is a chance someone might not make it.
Second, depending on what you plan on doing after the ceremony, you’ll want to make sure you’re in a place that can accommodate your group size for what will inevitably be a party. What I mean here is don’t invite everyone over to your house and not have space or food or drink ready to accommodate everyone.
Third, even though it will be a surprise wedding, you’ll want to hire a photographer because there is no way you are going to want to miss out on photos of your friends and families faces. But, you’ll need him or her to be very sly and incognito because they don’t want to give it away before the surprise happens.
Fourth, since it will be a surprise to all your guests what this means is that you won’t be able to have a wedding party or have anyone to help you with the planning of the wedding (besides your fiance of course). You can’t have your mom come and pick out your dress with you or have your best friend help you make DIY decor. This may or may not be a big deal to you, but it is something to consider for many brides. If you find you need help planning or just want someone to discuss the wedding with, you should consider hiring a wedding planner. They can fill that role for you and be a partner in planning and designing the wedding.
Lastly, think about your parents. Most people won’t mind the surprise wedding (they’ll probably love it), but the people who might mind are your parents. Depending on what your parents are like, they may get upset about the fact that they didn’t know and couldn’t invite certain people or that certain people weren’t there. If you envision this being a big problem, you might want to reconsider if only to ensure that your wedding day is a happy day. If you want to go forward, but think your parents might be a problem, offer them an olive branch in the form of a small reception. Just explain later that this is what you two wanted as a couple, but that if they want to celebrate with family or their friends, you’re happy to have a small reception.
So, all you need to do now is think through the above items and if you are still feeling good about a surprise wedding, then go for it! And if you need a wedding planner, you know who to call!
(Photo credit: Christie Pham Photography)
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