Welcome to an all new Wedding Wednesdays Q&A! This is where we answer your most pressing wedding planning questions and this week we’re discussing honoring a deceased family member: My father passed away a couple of years ago. We were close and although he won’t be at my wedding, I want to make sure he’s remembered. I don’t want it to be a sad thing, but I do want to make sure his presence is there. What are ways I can honor my father at the wedding without it being a big show?
First off, I’m so sorry to hear about your father. Losing a parent or a loved one is always hard especially when it comes to momentous occasions when you wish they were there. But, I think it’s great that you want to honor him in a special way. There are many ways you can create a special remembrance and I will mention a few, but just keep in mind that I think you should pick something that feels right for your relationship with your father and perhaps something you think he’d like.
So, the first area you can consider including him in is the ceremony. He won’t be there to walk you down the aisle, but perhaps a part of him can be with you all day like wearing his watch or having the watch tied your bouquet (or a piece of clothing or special item). You can reserve a special seat for him at the ceremony and have a small bouquet of flowers or something to note his spot. You can mention him in the ceremony itself either in special remembrance or have him mentioned with regards to something he’d say or said.
If you’d rather keep the special remembrance private, you can plan to share a special moment with other family members some time before the ceremony to say a little prayer or share a memory of him or do something that he particularly enjoyed or you enjoyed doing with him. During the reception (or the ceremony) you could play a special song that is meant for him that only you and your family know about.
If you plan on having pictures displayed at the wedding, you could have a picture of him or one of him and your mom (like a wedding photo) and then place a small candle near the photo. Or if he had something that was a particular favorite of his or something you two shared, that could be included in the wedding. It could be a food item or a funny joke or a game he liked to play.
These are just some initial ideas to get you thinking, but as I mentioned before, make sure you pick something that makes you happy and is something that you think would have made him happy. Because it is a happy day and even if he isn’t with you in person, he will be in spirit and would want you to enjoy the day.
(Photo credit: Bethany Carlson Photography)
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