It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means right? It’s time for our Wedding Wednesdays Q&A and today we’re talking about alternative weddings: My fiance and I are total geeks and we want to have a Lord of the Rings wedding because it represents us in so many ways. I told my parents about what we want and they don’t get it. They want and expect a traditional wedding and keep pushing that on me. I don’t know what to do because I want to respect my parents and have them be a part of the wedding, but I want the wedding to be what we want. Help! What do I do?
I’m so sorry that you are in the situation you are in. Planning a wedding is hard, but planning a wedding without the support of your family is so much harder, so I sympathize with what you are going through. The first thing I want to say is that I think it’s crucial to have the geek wedding you and your fiance want. As important as it is to keep your family and your guests in mind, in the end, the wedding is about your commitment to each other and your love. And you want the way you get married to be a reflection of who you are and not someone else. This is a day about the two of you that you’ll remember forever and doing it your way is super important.
With that being said, I think there are ways to include your parents as well. Have another sit down with them and explain why you’ve decided to do the wedding with your theme and what it means to you. That it’s not about being gimmicky, but because of the connection you have to the style, mood, and geekiness of it. Explain to them that it is part of who you two are and that you want the wedding to reflect that. Then tell them how important it is that they be a part of the wedding because of what they mean to you and that you hope they will support you.
Being honest and explaining how you feel should get them to understand or at least start the process. And then include them in the wedding planning when you can, so that you can show them that their opinion matters. Take your mom to help you pick a dress, take them both to a cake tasting or a menu tasting or have them help with the favors. There are many parts of your wedding that will still be traditional (like food), it’s just how you are doing them that are different.
I think over time, your parents will understand and accept your vision and support you. Keep in mind that it’s strange and different in their eyes and people always have a hard time with that, but they are your parents and they love you and want you to be happy. It might take a little time, but they will come around and you’ll both be happier in the end.
(Photo credit: What a Day Photography)
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