Q&A Tuesday: The Father-Daughter Dance

Wedding Wednesdays Q&A by Jamie Chang Destination Wedding Planner of Mango Muse Events

As promised, we’re doing 2 Q&A’s this week.  Yup, you heard right, 2!  So, we thought we’d start with Q&A Tuesday since it’s a holiday week.  This week’s question is about wedding traditions.

Q: I’ve been going back and forth on whether I want to do a father-daughter dance.  I’m not very traditional, so I don’t feel like it’s something I have a strong desire to do, but I’m worried I might regret not doing it.  What do you think?

Wonderful question!  I have a lot of couples who struggle with making decisions about the father-daughter dance (and the mother-son dance as well), so you aren’t alone.  Dancing with your father is very traditional which can be a great thing for some, but for others can be a forced awkward moment.  So, I always recommend that you do what feels right for both yourself and your father.

Some fathers are just not dancers or really don’t enjoy being the focus of attention.  And some brides are this way as well.  And then there are some who are really into it and then others where one of them really wants to, but the other does not.  I think the way to think about it is whether it is a moment that you would appreciate.  Despite the fact that everyone is watching you, it is also a very intimate moment.  Is that something you want to share with your father?

You can also think about it in terms of your relationship with your father.  Are you close or are you distant?  Will it be uncomfortable?  Or will be it sweet?  Would he enjoy it?  I think you need to take all of this into account.  And if you still don’t know, it’s always safer to do the dance than to not.  Most likely you won’t regret dancing with your father, but you might regret not doing it.

My last bit of advice is that if the only reason that is holding you back is the fact that everyone will be watching, you could always do a father-daughter dance on the side, sometime during the dancing portion.  It solves your problem by allowing you to still have your moment with your father but just making it more incognito.

Father-daughter dance at a Hawaii destination wedding planned by Destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events

(Photo credit: Rachel Robertson Photography)

Struggling with a wedding planning problem?  Send it over to us and we’ll help you figure it out.

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