Wedding Wednesdays Q&A: The First Look

Wedding Wednesdays Q&A by Jamie Chang Destination Wedding Planner of Mango Muse Events

Happy Wednesday and tax day, which is no one’s favorite day.  So, to cheer you up, we’ve got an all new Wedding Wednesdays Q&A. Today we’re talking about the first look:  I keep going back and forth on whether to do a first look or not.  Part of me likes the traditional way of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony, but the other part of me really wants to do it beforehand so we can do our photos early too.  I’m stuck, can you help me figure this out?

Of course!  And I understand that it can be a tough choice, so let’s talk through a few things and by the end hopefully you’ll have your answer.  So traditionally, the reason a couple wasn’t supposed to see each other before the wedding ceremony was not so that you’d have this special moment, but so that it wouldn’t give the couple a chance to see each other and change their minds.  This was because most weddings were arranged marriages and they’d literally see each other for the first time on their wedding day.  Of course now you’ve already seen each other (many times), so that tradition doesn’t play a factor.  I’m starting off with telling you this in case you are superstitious and are worried about that aspect because it really won’t bring you bad luck.

So, tradition aside I think what you are really concerned about is not whether or not to see each other before, but that feeling you want to have when you are walking down the aisle.  And I can tell you that it really doesn’t matter if you’ve seen each other before the ceremony or even gotten ready together, that feeling of excitement, anticipation and nervousness will be there when you walk down the aisle.  It’s because it’s not really about seeing each other for the first time.  You aren’t looking at their clothes or how they did their hair, you’re just looking at them and thinking about what you are about to do and embark on.  That alone brings those feelings, so you’ll have them no matter what you do before walking down that aisle.

Bride walking down the aisle with her parents at a church wedding and her first look at her fiancé at a San Francisco wedding by Jamie Chang destination wedding planner of Mango Muse Events.

(Photo credit: Jerry Yoon Photographers)

With that information, what will make your decision is whether you want time to do photos before the ceremony.  And if the answer to that is yes, then you should do the first look.  If it doesn’t matter whether you do photos beforehand, then it’s your call.  But, I will say from a schedule standpoint (and your photographer will agree), it really helps to do photos beforehand because then your photos aren’t as rushed, your guests won’t have to wait for you and you can get to even enjoy part of the cocktail hour.  And as a bonus you’ll get some extra time with your fiancé all to yourselves, which really is quite nice.

Got a wedding planning question for us?  Ask away!  And don’t forget to enter our photo contest to win 2 tickets to the Beyond Blu Bungalow Venue Tour!

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