Wedding Wednesdays Q&A: Best Man

Wedding Wednesdays Q&A by Jamie Chang Destination Wedding Planner of Mango Muse Events

Hello and welcome to an all new Wedding Wednesdays Q&A!  This week we’re discussing the best man:  I know which friends I want to be my groomsmen and I’ve asked them already, but I’m struggling with who to make my best man.  There is one friend that I’m definitely the closest to, but he’s not the most responsible and I’m worried I’ll have to look out for him instead of him looking out for me.  Is it more important to pick someone who I’m closer to or someone who I know will do the things I need him to do?

Great question!  Many brides and grooms struggle with who to make their best man or maid of honor, so you’re not alone.  Ideally, you’d want to pick someone who you are closest to and who will take care of you, but sometimes that person isn’t all bundled up into one nice package.  So, what do you do?  In 99% cases, I think it’s important to choose the person you are closest to and the one you want standing right beside you when you marry the person you love.  While there are responsibilities required of the best man, in the end, the reason you asked this guy is because he knows you, because he knows who you are.  I think that emotional and personal bond trumps any organizational or time management skills.

Now, with that being said, how do you combat your worry?  What you do is get all of your groomsmen to help.  It’s ok if your best man isn’t the most responsible, I’m sure there is a guy or guys in the group that are responsible.  You’ll get them to help you with the things that you’re most worried about like making sure they are on time or making sure the tuxes get returned.  You’ll still turn to your best man for things like holding the rings and planning the bachelor party, but your other groomsmen can help out as well.  Utilize each of their strengths so that the jobs they have are both easy and second nature.  And then you’ll be covered because all your guys will be looking out for you.

Before we wrap up today’s question, I do feel that I need to talk about the 1% of situations.  I mentioned earlier that in most cases, it’s the emotional and personal bond that is more important.  However, there are some instances when it might be better to choose a different friend as your best man or maid of honor.  If your best friend is by nature selfish or you know from past experiences that he/she doesn’t do well in planning situations, then you might want to consider another.  And the reason is mainly because they more likely to cause you distress than happiness during the engagement period and by the end you may not be such close friends anymore.  This particularly applies to women and their maid of honor, but it is applicable to men as well.  You’ll need support during the wedding planning process and you don’t want to lose a friend because of it.  So, sometimes it is better for all parties involved to choose a different person to be your right hand man/woman.

Best man and the groom at a Sonoma destination wedding by Destination wedding planner Mango Muse Events

(Photo credit: Arrowood Photography)

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